Sometimes it just doesn't make sense

I'm working on cards this morning sitting at my desk and Lauren decided to join me. She came in the room with some paper and her box of crafting supplies. She requested I play a particular playlist on my iPod and I thought we were all settled down to craft...

I was wrong...

I pressed play on the iPod and the moment the first song started playing Lauren jumped up...

L: OH! I better go get the umbrella!!

M: *puzzled look* What for?

L: *exasperated sigh* So I can sit on the quilt with the Barney puzzle!

M: *blink blink*

Sometimes things in my world just don't make sense.

Mommy's Little Hercules...errrr...Helper...

Oh little girls are such a joy. Really, they are! However, sometimes my child exhibits some "boy" traits that catch me off guard and sometimes even delight me.

Lauren and I popped into the grocery store this morning to buy one thing. A gallon of milk. We trek to the back of the store to get the milk and Lauren insists on carrying it to the front of the store. I tell her that it's extremely heavy and would probably be pretty tricky. I should mention here that in our family, we try not to say the word "hard" but use "tricky" instead. She says, "I can do it Mom!" I throw caution to the wind and hand the uber heavy gallon of milk over to her. She takes the milk with a loud grunt and tries to get a good grip on it while shifting it around between her wee hands. I suddenly have a Mom Memory of another mom friend telling a tale of "...one time he threw a gallon of milk out of the grocery cart and it busted and spewed milk everywhere..." My MOM ALARM starts sounding, "WARNING! WARNING! POTENTIAL MILK CATASTROPHE! TAKE THE MILK BACK! FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" So I gently take the milk back and we head to the front of the store to pay.

All the way up to the front of the store, Lauren is telling me how strong she is and that carrying the milk for me would be no problem.

We pay. We proceed to bag up the milk (self-checkout of course!) and start to leave the store. Lauren again insists she can carry the milk. I double bag it and say, "OK, give it a try..."

She struggles. She grunts. She's determined. The self-checkout attendant smiles and stifles her laughter as Lauren goes struggling towards the door.

Lauren tries sliding the loops of the plastic grocery bag up over her wrist. We've all tried this. It results in immediate sensation loss to your hand. She figures this out quickly and tries holding the loops with both hands but the milk is clunking into her thighs and knees. She stops and tries heaving the bag up onto her shoulder, like a purse. Again, immediate sensation loss to not just her hand this time, but her entire arm.

While I'm watching all this and trying to coax her across the parking lot, I keep saying, "Hey, do you need some help? Why don't you let Mom carry it the rest of the way...?" To which she keeps saying, in a winded voice, "No...Mom...*grunt*...I'm strong...*grunt*...I can do it...*grunt*"

And sure enough, she did. She IS strong.

Thanks to the nice camera on my new phone I was able to capture this Herculean moment.



She's saying through labored breathing, "Mom...I think I see the car..." as if it's miles away, when in reality it was only two more cars down from where she was standing.

Taking a little breathing break. But almost there!

Final HEAVE! HO! into the car.

Happy Halloween

Last year we visited a local pumpkin patch to purchase the perfect pumpkin for carving. We promptly brought the pumpkin home and used our handy dandy pumpkin carving kit, complete with carving patterns to make an amazingly awesome pumpkin. This was around October 10th or so. By October 31st our pumpkin had become...a Petri dish.



Petri dish noun

1. a shallow glass dish with a loose-fitting lid, used to culture bacteria.



So it wasn't a glass dish, but a pumpkin, and certainly had a loose-fitting pumpkin lid and DEFINITELY cultured some bacteria. The pumpkin was more frightening than we'd anticipated and was disposed of before nightfall.



This year, we took a different approach. The pumpkin wasn't even purchased until October 30th and carved this morning, October 31st. Lauren and I selected the perfect pumpkin for carving and Chad and Lauren searched the internet for suitable patterns to use. In the end, after much deliberation, a pattern was selected, "The Spooky Goblin."



While searching for patterns online, Chad read some helpful hints about pumpkin carving. Tips on how to preserve your pumpkin...you know, tips for preventing the Petri Dish effect or at least slowing that process down, that involved washing the pumpkin and spraying it with Lysol.



Chad did the initial cutting and scraping of the inside of the pumpkin and put Lauren to work cleaning out all the seeds and "guts." She was a very willing and helpful participant! We were entertained the whole time because she kept saying, "This is DIS-GUSTING. This is REALLY DIS-GUSTING..." but loved every bit of the process.

Lauren supervised the tracing of the pattern onto the pumpkin. This supervision included Lauren scolding Chad for breaking pencil after pencil because he was pushing too hard.

The completed "Spooky Goblin." He looks more like a Goofy Goblin to me, but awesome nonetheless!

Happy Halloween to all!

The Fierce and Fantastic Finnegan

In July of this year, I found myself at the Greenville Humane Society with a friend of mine. I was not in the market for a NEW dog. I have two already and they are PLENTY. However, I walked in and this face (see above) was looking at me from a pen in the lobby. I scooped him up and immediately said, "Where do I sign?" He was mine.

I have never in my life had a dog that has brought me so much joy. He's full of energy and ALWAYS in a good mood. He's clumsy. He's naughty. He's fiercely protective of me, but scared of all things at the same time. He climbs on all furniture including the end table between the couches to look out the window and barks at falling leaves. He falls off furniture, he gets stuck behind couch cushions, he trips up the stairs, he rolls down the stairs, he falls off the bed, he falls off the couch, he crashes his head into the walls, chair legs, and doors. All of these things he does with complete abandon. He's passionate and energetic about EVERYTHING he does.

His name is Finnegan.

Finn loves paper. Finn loves baby dolls and stuffed animals. Finn especially loves socks and SHOES. Most shoes are the same size as him and he manages to pick them up in his mouth and carry them off and lick and chew on them. He has a secret hiding spot under our bed that's a large L.L. Bean duffle bag. I discovered this hiding spot one day when I was pulling the bag out to pack it for a trip. The bag had a stray sock, two dog bones and other miscellaneous items that had gone missing.

Finn's expression is always excited and happy. You'll find a "gift" (aka POOP) he left in the guest bathroom and say, "FINNEGAN! DID YOU POOP IN HERE???" He gallops up to you wagging his tail enthusiastically as if he's saying, "What? Yeah?! I did! Cool huh??!" He rarely gets scolded because he's so darn cute.

Just the other night, I was outside with the water hose doing some work and Finn was chasing streams of water. He was racing as hard as he could everytime he'd see the water spray. I think he could have played that game for hours. He's blissfully stupid. It's refreshing!

Finnegan is so protective of me. At bedtime he curls up under the covers with me and sleeps, but the second he hears the creak of the floorboards in the hallway he's at full attention growling in his most fierce puppy voice and barking at the intruder...even though the same thing happens every night and it's just my husband coming to bed. It's like a new experience every time, "INVADER! THREAT! WARNING!" and then followed by lots of tail wagging, "Oh hey Dad! It's you! How are ya?"

He brings me joy. He makes me laugh. He's my boy. He's my Finnegan.

How do you argue with problem solving skills like these?

Yesterday morning I was all set to head out early for some grocery gaming. I was dressed and ready when I approached Lauren about going shopping. She was in "a mood" from the minute she stepped out of her bedroom door and therefore wanted to "assert her independence" at every available moment. Her first reaction, when asked to get dressed to go out, was a very firm, "NO. I don't WANT to go shopping. Today is a 'stay home' day." I told her that I really needed to go to the stores and that I would appreciate her cooperation. She stewed a bit more and then came to me with a proposition...

L: Mom? I have a idea. (yeah that's pronounced, "UH idea")

M: What is it?

L: What if I ride my tricycle to the store? I could ride beside the car.

M: *puzzled look*

L: I could go out and practice in the driveway right now! (very enthusiastic, and already anticipating my answer)

M: Well...you don't have a HELMET. You have to wear a helmet if you ride your trike out of the yard. (thinking this would be an easy out with little argument since we in fact do NOT have a helmet)

L: Mom! I won't fall SILLY! (guffawing at the ludacris statement)

M: I don't think riding your tricycle on the "big road" with cars is very safe Lauren.

L: I can ride it on the sidewalk.

M: You'd have to cross the road to get to all of the stores.

L: *thinking* Well I'll just ride it on the other side!

How do you argue with problem solving skills like these?

"You can't eat THAT! It's an ANIMAL!"

This afternoon, Lauren wanted to watch some TV. I turned the TV on but didn't immediately change the channel to her show. The channel had some sort of fishing show and the man was scooping a scallop out of its shell. Lauren started asking a zillion questions about what he was doing. Chad grabbed his iTouch and started googling scallops to show her. They talked a little bit about them and she turned to me and began asking me things...

L: Mom? What do you DO with scallops?

M: You eat them. They are delicious!

L: (guffawing) MOM you can't eat them! They are animals!

M: *gulp* (oh boy...is this the moment she become vegetarian?) Yes honey, we eat animals. Chicken, fish, turkey...those are all animals.

L: Yeah?

M: You remember Uncle Rich? He makes REALLY good scallops. We'll have to ask him to make them for us sometime.

L: Yeah!

Quiet. She's thinking...

L: Mom? Auntie Kim makes really good cow.

M: Really?

L: Yeah, it's a kind of egg. Like a shell made of vitamins with a little cow inside!

M: Hmmm...that's really interesting Lauren...

And I quickly changed the channel to a Lauren show.

A future in show business

This morning Lauren's imagination is cranking. She's been in her bedroom setting up a "show." She asked if I would help her get a curtain to use for her stage. I rigged up a sheet she could use and preparation for the show began.

About five minutes pass and she comes and gets me and says, "The audience is getting ready! I need you to come be the audience!" I go in her room and patiently wait for the show to begin.

However, instead of preparing for the show, the director was very involved in setting up the audience. Trip after trip to the playroom to bring back various stuffed animals and babydolls...carefully placing each member of the audience and addressing them by name such as "Mr. Pablo" and "Ms. Rosie." I kept asking if the show was going to start and was told that it would be "in just a second!"

The show finally begins and the curtain opens.

The setup. Ella Bunny and Henry are sitting facing each other. Hannah is wrapped in a silk scarf and playing the role of "Baby Jesus." Hmm...wonder where this is going? Hannah is placed between Ella and Henry and KiKi (her blanket) is draped over Ella's head thus making her "Mary." There is an angel (a beanie baby bear) also present in the scene. No dialogue is exchanged, but a little music box sitting on the floor beside the animals is wound up and begins playing. The music box has a little ballerina that spins around and apparently she's part of the show. Lauren suddenly leaves her bedroom and comes back with a toy dinosaur. The dinosaur begins roaring in an attempt to frighten the ballerina. The dinosaur attacks the ballerina and succeeds in knocking her off her pedestal. End scene.

The curtain closes and I ask if the show is over. Lauren thinks for a moment and then jumps like she's getting ready to do jumping jacks (legs spread apart, arms stretched out)...

L: Who's opening the curtain?

M: Who's opening the curtain?

L: No Mom, you're supposed to say who.

M: Oh...who?

L: No Mom, you're supposed to say WHO.

M: Oh...Lauren?

L: *big smile* (another jump) Who's bringing things to the people?

M: (hesitantly) Lauren?

L: *big smile* (another jump) Who's giving the bunny ears to people?

M: (confidently) LAUREN!

L: NO! The penguin! (and runs to her closet and produces a pink flamingo)

M: That's a flamingo.

L: (not interested in having the penguin/flamingo debate - jumps again) Who's giving pillows to everyone?

M: (knowing it's the wrong answer) Lauren?

L: NO! Checker Madison! (and produces a beanie baby dog from the closet)

M: *staring blankly* (who's Checker Madison???)

L: (jumps again) Who's bringing shoes to everyone?

M: (*sigh* this show has taken a weird turn) Lauren?

L: NO! Sucker Sadderman! (and produces a blue elephant)

M: Is this the show?

L: The show will be back in just a minute. (thinking) The WIGGLES will be here any minute! Murray, Jeff, Greg...You have to yell "WIGGLES!"

M: WIGGLES!

L: (runs out of the room and comes back with a Wiggles DVD) Mom. We need a little TV in here so we can watch the show.

M: We don't have a little TV.

L: OH. Well, after we go to the library, can we go see The Wiggles?

M: Hunh?

And in order to end the madness, I said...

M: Is the show over?

L: (turns to Henry and Ella and asks if the show is over) Yes. It's over.

M: (loud applause) YAY! Great show Lauren!

End scene.