Happy Halloween

Last year we visited a local pumpkin patch to purchase the perfect pumpkin for carving. We promptly brought the pumpkin home and used our handy dandy pumpkin carving kit, complete with carving patterns to make an amazingly awesome pumpkin. This was around October 10th or so. By October 31st our pumpkin had become...a Petri dish.



Petri dish noun

1. a shallow glass dish with a loose-fitting lid, used to culture bacteria.



So it wasn't a glass dish, but a pumpkin, and certainly had a loose-fitting pumpkin lid and DEFINITELY cultured some bacteria. The pumpkin was more frightening than we'd anticipated and was disposed of before nightfall.



This year, we took a different approach. The pumpkin wasn't even purchased until October 30th and carved this morning, October 31st. Lauren and I selected the perfect pumpkin for carving and Chad and Lauren searched the internet for suitable patterns to use. In the end, after much deliberation, a pattern was selected, "The Spooky Goblin."



While searching for patterns online, Chad read some helpful hints about pumpkin carving. Tips on how to preserve your pumpkin...you know, tips for preventing the Petri Dish effect or at least slowing that process down, that involved washing the pumpkin and spraying it with Lysol.



Chad did the initial cutting and scraping of the inside of the pumpkin and put Lauren to work cleaning out all the seeds and "guts." She was a very willing and helpful participant! We were entertained the whole time because she kept saying, "This is DIS-GUSTING. This is REALLY DIS-GUSTING..." but loved every bit of the process.

Lauren supervised the tracing of the pattern onto the pumpkin. This supervision included Lauren scolding Chad for breaking pencil after pencil because he was pushing too hard.

The completed "Spooky Goblin." He looks more like a Goofy Goblin to me, but awesome nonetheless!

Happy Halloween to all!

The Fierce and Fantastic Finnegan

In July of this year, I found myself at the Greenville Humane Society with a friend of mine. I was not in the market for a NEW dog. I have two already and they are PLENTY. However, I walked in and this face (see above) was looking at me from a pen in the lobby. I scooped him up and immediately said, "Where do I sign?" He was mine.

I have never in my life had a dog that has brought me so much joy. He's full of energy and ALWAYS in a good mood. He's clumsy. He's naughty. He's fiercely protective of me, but scared of all things at the same time. He climbs on all furniture including the end table between the couches to look out the window and barks at falling leaves. He falls off furniture, he gets stuck behind couch cushions, he trips up the stairs, he rolls down the stairs, he falls off the bed, he falls off the couch, he crashes his head into the walls, chair legs, and doors. All of these things he does with complete abandon. He's passionate and energetic about EVERYTHING he does.

His name is Finnegan.

Finn loves paper. Finn loves baby dolls and stuffed animals. Finn especially loves socks and SHOES. Most shoes are the same size as him and he manages to pick them up in his mouth and carry them off and lick and chew on them. He has a secret hiding spot under our bed that's a large L.L. Bean duffle bag. I discovered this hiding spot one day when I was pulling the bag out to pack it for a trip. The bag had a stray sock, two dog bones and other miscellaneous items that had gone missing.

Finn's expression is always excited and happy. You'll find a "gift" (aka POOP) he left in the guest bathroom and say, "FINNEGAN! DID YOU POOP IN HERE???" He gallops up to you wagging his tail enthusiastically as if he's saying, "What? Yeah?! I did! Cool huh??!" He rarely gets scolded because he's so darn cute.

Just the other night, I was outside with the water hose doing some work and Finn was chasing streams of water. He was racing as hard as he could everytime he'd see the water spray. I think he could have played that game for hours. He's blissfully stupid. It's refreshing!

Finnegan is so protective of me. At bedtime he curls up under the covers with me and sleeps, but the second he hears the creak of the floorboards in the hallway he's at full attention growling in his most fierce puppy voice and barking at the intruder...even though the same thing happens every night and it's just my husband coming to bed. It's like a new experience every time, "INVADER! THREAT! WARNING!" and then followed by lots of tail wagging, "Oh hey Dad! It's you! How are ya?"

He brings me joy. He makes me laugh. He's my boy. He's my Finnegan.

How do you argue with problem solving skills like these?

Yesterday morning I was all set to head out early for some grocery gaming. I was dressed and ready when I approached Lauren about going shopping. She was in "a mood" from the minute she stepped out of her bedroom door and therefore wanted to "assert her independence" at every available moment. Her first reaction, when asked to get dressed to go out, was a very firm, "NO. I don't WANT to go shopping. Today is a 'stay home' day." I told her that I really needed to go to the stores and that I would appreciate her cooperation. She stewed a bit more and then came to me with a proposition...

L: Mom? I have a idea. (yeah that's pronounced, "UH idea")

M: What is it?

L: What if I ride my tricycle to the store? I could ride beside the car.

M: *puzzled look*

L: I could go out and practice in the driveway right now! (very enthusiastic, and already anticipating my answer)

M: Well...you don't have a HELMET. You have to wear a helmet if you ride your trike out of the yard. (thinking this would be an easy out with little argument since we in fact do NOT have a helmet)

L: Mom! I won't fall SILLY! (guffawing at the ludacris statement)

M: I don't think riding your tricycle on the "big road" with cars is very safe Lauren.

L: I can ride it on the sidewalk.

M: You'd have to cross the road to get to all of the stores.

L: *thinking* Well I'll just ride it on the other side!

How do you argue with problem solving skills like these?

"You can't eat THAT! It's an ANIMAL!"

This afternoon, Lauren wanted to watch some TV. I turned the TV on but didn't immediately change the channel to her show. The channel had some sort of fishing show and the man was scooping a scallop out of its shell. Lauren started asking a zillion questions about what he was doing. Chad grabbed his iTouch and started googling scallops to show her. They talked a little bit about them and she turned to me and began asking me things...

L: Mom? What do you DO with scallops?

M: You eat them. They are delicious!

L: (guffawing) MOM you can't eat them! They are animals!

M: *gulp* (oh boy...is this the moment she become vegetarian?) Yes honey, we eat animals. Chicken, fish, turkey...those are all animals.

L: Yeah?

M: You remember Uncle Rich? He makes REALLY good scallops. We'll have to ask him to make them for us sometime.

L: Yeah!

Quiet. She's thinking...

L: Mom? Auntie Kim makes really good cow.

M: Really?

L: Yeah, it's a kind of egg. Like a shell made of vitamins with a little cow inside!

M: Hmmm...that's really interesting Lauren...

And I quickly changed the channel to a Lauren show.

A future in show business

This morning Lauren's imagination is cranking. She's been in her bedroom setting up a "show." She asked if I would help her get a curtain to use for her stage. I rigged up a sheet she could use and preparation for the show began.

About five minutes pass and she comes and gets me and says, "The audience is getting ready! I need you to come be the audience!" I go in her room and patiently wait for the show to begin.

However, instead of preparing for the show, the director was very involved in setting up the audience. Trip after trip to the playroom to bring back various stuffed animals and babydolls...carefully placing each member of the audience and addressing them by name such as "Mr. Pablo" and "Ms. Rosie." I kept asking if the show was going to start and was told that it would be "in just a second!"

The show finally begins and the curtain opens.

The setup. Ella Bunny and Henry are sitting facing each other. Hannah is wrapped in a silk scarf and playing the role of "Baby Jesus." Hmm...wonder where this is going? Hannah is placed between Ella and Henry and KiKi (her blanket) is draped over Ella's head thus making her "Mary." There is an angel (a beanie baby bear) also present in the scene. No dialogue is exchanged, but a little music box sitting on the floor beside the animals is wound up and begins playing. The music box has a little ballerina that spins around and apparently she's part of the show. Lauren suddenly leaves her bedroom and comes back with a toy dinosaur. The dinosaur begins roaring in an attempt to frighten the ballerina. The dinosaur attacks the ballerina and succeeds in knocking her off her pedestal. End scene.

The curtain closes and I ask if the show is over. Lauren thinks for a moment and then jumps like she's getting ready to do jumping jacks (legs spread apart, arms stretched out)...

L: Who's opening the curtain?

M: Who's opening the curtain?

L: No Mom, you're supposed to say who.

M: Oh...who?

L: No Mom, you're supposed to say WHO.

M: Oh...Lauren?

L: *big smile* (another jump) Who's bringing things to the people?

M: (hesitantly) Lauren?

L: *big smile* (another jump) Who's giving the bunny ears to people?

M: (confidently) LAUREN!

L: NO! The penguin! (and runs to her closet and produces a pink flamingo)

M: That's a flamingo.

L: (not interested in having the penguin/flamingo debate - jumps again) Who's giving pillows to everyone?

M: (knowing it's the wrong answer) Lauren?

L: NO! Checker Madison! (and produces a beanie baby dog from the closet)

M: *staring blankly* (who's Checker Madison???)

L: (jumps again) Who's bringing shoes to everyone?

M: (*sigh* this show has taken a weird turn) Lauren?

L: NO! Sucker Sadderman! (and produces a blue elephant)

M: Is this the show?

L: The show will be back in just a minute. (thinking) The WIGGLES will be here any minute! Murray, Jeff, Greg...You have to yell "WIGGLES!"

M: WIGGLES!

L: (runs out of the room and comes back with a Wiggles DVD) Mom. We need a little TV in here so we can watch the show.

M: We don't have a little TV.

L: OH. Well, after we go to the library, can we go see The Wiggles?

M: Hunh?

And in order to end the madness, I said...

M: Is the show over?

L: (turns to Henry and Ella and asks if the show is over) Yes. It's over.

M: (loud applause) YAY! Great show Lauren!

End scene.

That silly Ducky...

Many a month has passed since my last blog entry. Honestly, if I sat with a tape recorder in hand, I could have a non-stop stream of hilarious conversations I have on a daily basis with my child. In the past two days, Lauren has decided that naps are not a necessary part of her day. I think my heart rate just accelerated as I typed that last statement. Naps equal sanity in this house. No naps? Yeah, you guessed it.

When I went into Lauren's room to calmly (fingernails digging into palms of hands) to discuss the "no nap situation" she said, "Mom. I was asleep. I was! But my animals wanted to play...Ducky said..." And then I tuned her out. Seriously? The animals? Ducky? It's always Ducky getting into some sort of trouble. Who needs an imaginary friend when you can blame everything on your sweet lovey Ducky? The sweet lovey you've had since you were an infant. Damn duck.

So we're bumping along thru the afternoon today (just remember, no nap...)

L: Mom? I want a snack. (walking towards the kitchen and opening fridge) Can I have pickles?

M: No.

L: But Mom (little whine)...I want pickles.

M: No.

L: But Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom (lot more whine) I. Just. Want. Pickles.

M: I. Said. No.

This conversation ends with Lauren sitting in time out for one minute for continuing to argue with me.

Lauren finds something to do and seems content and distracted. Ten minutes pass and the snack situation is still unresolved.

L: Mom? I still want a snack.

M: (taking her into my lap) How about a piece of that homemade bread we made yesterday with some BUTTER ON IT? (excitement gleaming in my eyes) AND then you could take it in the den and watch "The Music Man!"

L: Mom? What if we take two pieces of bread...and some cheese...and make like...like...a SANDWICH (excitement in HER eyes now)! How about a GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH?

M: Wait. Grilled cheese? That's supper. That's not a snack.

L: OK. Well, how about just a cheeeeeeeeeese sandwich. Not grilled.

M: How about a bowl of dry cereal?

L: With my piece of bread and butter?

M: Uh... (how did we get back to the bread and butter so fast?)

L: You know what Ducky likes? He likes FROOT LOOP SANDWICHES! (and she starts guffawing likes it's the funniest thing she's ever heard) Can I have a Froot Loop sandwich?

That Ducky...

It's a JOKE Mama!

My child recently started telling knock-knock jokes. She only really knows one, but tries to make up multiple ones using the same punch line. It goes like this...

L: Knock-Knock!

M: Who's there?

L: Lion.

M: Lion who?

L: Lion in his bed!!! (Get it? Lion/Lyin' in his bed...)

She roars with laughter everytime. So she tries other things...

L: Knock-Knock!

M: Who's there?

L: TV.

M: TV who?

L: TV IN HIS BED!! Bwhahahahahahhahaha!

M: *blank stare*

Last night Lauren's bestest pal Dustin was over and Lauren tried out her joke on him. He laughed and then shared a joke with her...

D: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

L: *blank stare* I don't know...a fish with no eyes?

D: Fsh!

L: *blink blink*

D: Get it? Fsh!

Chad then says to Dustin, "You do realize you're using a joke that involves spelling to someone who can't spell, right?"

So this morning, we're driving to school and Lauren is chattering away in the backseat asking me ten thousand questions about all kinds of things and then says...

L: Mom, what do you call a monster with no eyes?

M: A monster with no eyes?

L: Yeah! What do you call a monster with no eyes?

M: I have no idea.

L: He's tickling the fish! Get it? Get it? Do you get it Mama???

M: *roaring laughter*