My first blog attempt

I'm sure there are so many blogs out there today that start with, "This is my first blog...blah, blah, blah..." So let's just assume I was going to say that to start things off.

It seems everyone I know has a blog these days. I haven't exactly decided what the purpose of this one will be except to maybe share kooky things that seem to happen to me in my daily life. I have been lucky in my upbringing to learn the art of storytelling, or believe I've learned it. Both of my parents are sensational storytellers and have captured many an audience in their time. In my experience, I've found that I have a way of sharing things with others that may seem mundane and normal to the average person, but I can focus in on the minute details of the situation and find the humor...or at least make it seem humorous.

For example, I think a good place to start this blog would be to share the details of this past Sunday. This original "post" was sent to my girlfriend via email describing my day...

I had great expectations for my day today...

Lauren's nose was still a little drippy/runny this morning, and though I am sure it's nothing contagious (at this point) I still wasn't comfortable dropping her off in a nursery at church. I didn't want to be "THAT MOM" and feel like I had to explain her nose, etc.

ANYWAY, I looked online and saw that Portrait Innovations opened at 9am on Sundays. Eureka! So Chad and I start making plans for our day, that involved us getting our family portrait! Yippee! OK, breakfast, showers, ironing clothes, loading up child...DONE. Lauren was a bit "challenging" from the get go this morning. She woke up early and was just fretful and grumpy all morning. This should have been a sign. She was bawling her eyes out over putting a particular SHIRT on (with Chad of course) so her face was all red and splotchy...GREAT...before pictures???? But we press on and I say as we're walking out the door, "This is probably the worst idea ever..."

We arrive at Portrait Innovations and I'm optimistic because the parking lot doesn't look overcrowded. It's 11:30 and I'm thinking we're in good shape. I walk in and say we don't have an appointment, but is there availability...? The girl says something about only having one photographer at the moment and that the other photographer was arriving at 1pm, but they had appointments all afternoon. I stared at her with a blank stare like, "Uh, ok, but can we get our picture taken?" She says, "Let me go check on something..." So she goes to the photographer and there is muttering and she comes back and says, "Yeah, we have appointments all afternoon..." Again, blank stare, "Is that a NO?" She proceeds to tell me they are not open on Mondays, but have availability throughout the week and would I like to make an appointment... More blank staring, "Yeah, uh...I'll have to call you about that..." Meanwhile, Chad and Lauren have parked their butts in a chair and are chilling out, even though I KNOW Chad has heard the whole conversation. I'm doing the walking towards the door, "yeah, yeah, thanks, don't call me, I'll call you..." routine and STARING a hole into the side of Chad's head. I finally say, "OK CHAD. LET'S GO." He casually gets up and carries Lauren to the door. We get in the car and I'm just ticked. They DO highly recommend appointments, but STILL. I was just miffed. So Chad is loading Lauren in and says in a sing-song voice, "No pictures today..." Which makes Lauren burst into tears. *heavy sigh*

We drive the short drive to Lowe's because we need air filters for the house. Lauren is still fretful when we arrive and Chad tries to carry her but she begins full out wailing. I take her from him and she is sniffling and lying her head on my shoulder. TOTALLY out of character for her. So I CARRY the child all over Lowe's while we find the air filters, select air filters, look for ceiling fans (for the playroom), select a ceiling fan...blah, blah, blah...and she's not THAT heavy, but heavy enough that I wanted to just SIT when we were done. Oy!

Chad wants to go to Best Buy (while we're in the area) to look for a wireless keyboard for the Wii (don't ask). We go and Lauren is being fretful...STILL. But I just walk away from her, because Zoloft or no, I'm going to CHOKE her if she doesn't stop. She and Chad mosey thru the store looking at God knows what. I however, did find "Evan Almighty" in the DVDs, so that was an improvement on my day. I don't really like Best Buy. It's not my kind of store. I like to look at the DVDs and then I'm DONE. So I was DONE. Had my DVD in hand and was ready to proceed to the exit. Chad hesitates by the XBox stuff and mutters something about not getting a chance to look/browse. *heavy sigh* FINE. So I take Lauren and we wander over to the 10,000 TVs they have on display. She finds one playing clips from the movie "Ice Age 2" (animated film) and is immediately glued. The problem is, this TV is on an endcap so we're virtually invisible to someone, MY HUSBAND, looking for us. First of all he didn't know we were in the TVs (why would he?) and second of all, just wandering around looking, he NEVER would have found us. Leave it to me to be well hidden. I did however KNOW we had a problem and began coaxing Lauren to come with me to find Daddy. Nope. Here come the tears. I finally drag her out from our hiding place to find Chad with an annoyed look on his face and saying, "I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR 20 MINUTES." Riiiiiiiiiiiight, cus' we've REALLY been there that long. *heavy sigh* So of course the child is crying again. Chad's annoyed. I'm annoyed. Let's just goooooooooooooo.

We load up in the car. More crying for no reason begins because she asked for a drink and I told her I didn't have one. I guess that's a good reason to cry? "MOMMY NEEDS A DRINK TOO!!"

We were planning to go out to eat lunch, but CLEARLY that was not the best idea at the rate we were going. We start down Woodruff and Lauren is OUT. Sound asleep. Nice. So we swing thru Arby's and head home. Lauren POPS awake as soon as we pull in the driveway. 30 minute nap. Perfect. I carry her into her room and try to rock her. She yelps about wanting to get in her bed. I carry her to her bed. She bursts into full out sobbing saying, "I want to rockabye!!" SHOOT ME. I pull her out of the bed and proceed to rock her. She is dozing, but I'm not convinced she's asleep, but what the hell...lay her down, leave the room...10 minutes of sustained quiet come from the monitor...until...

Chad begins installing the new ceiling fan we purchased at Lowe's. With his power drill.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

...and THAT was the end of naptime.

Thankfully Lauren was interested in "helping" Daddy install the fan (*rolling eyes*) so that kept her occupied for a bit and then she wanted to watch DVDs in our bedroom. I was free to watch "Brokeback Mountain" and GULP some wine.

I announced to Chad that Lauren needed a bath at 6pm (this was around 3pm so he'd have plenty of time to plan his afternoon!). I wanted her in bed before 7pm. Wishful thinking. She was bathed and and dressed and ready for bed by 6:45pm. She was running from the living room to the kitchen and slipped and clunked her head on the floor. GREAT. MORE CRYING. She was inconsolable. I don't think it was the clunk as much as the whole fretful day piling up into one big mess. So I take her and carry her into her bedroom and proceed to rock her and console her for 30+ minutes. She seems asleep, but I see her eyes flutter open right when I''m about to plop her into the bed. I whisper, "Are you ready to get in your bed?" She says, in a loud voice and sounding fretful, "WE DIDN'T READ ANY BOOKS!" Oh for the love of... I try to softly say, "Sweetie, you need to go to sleep, it's the most important thing right now..." FULL OUT SOB, "I WANT TO READ MY BOOKS! WE DIDN'T READ BOOKS!" I stand up (still holding her) and gently walk to the door, open the door, walk out to the living room, gently HAND HER TO CHAD and walk away. He got her into bed, but at 8:10 I could still hear her talking! It's 9pm now and it's been quiet for about 20 minutes or so...

So THAT was my day...

OH and in the midst of all the drama this afternoon I decided to go out on the front porch to water my flowers. I scared one of the baby finches and it flew/fell out of the nest. DAMNIT. I came inside, yelled for Chad, and googled "baby finch fell out of nest" to see what the hell I was suppose to do next! Chad kept an eye on it and said it flew across the street onto the neighbor's porch. *heavy sigh* Mama Finch has been chirping all afternoon/evening looking for the lost youngin'. I just wanna cry!

So maybe this is a good place to stop on my first attempt at blogging. The child has decided naptime is over so blogging time is too.