This afternoon I was getting Lauren's room ready for naptime and asked her to go find KiKi (her striped blanket I knew was in the living room). She was puttering around her room and not really listening to me...
M: Lauren, please go get KiKi. KiKi wants to take a nap too.
L: But Mama (with a troubled, serious look on her face)...KiKi doesn't have eyes!
That's toddler logic for you...how could KiKi take a nap if there aren't any eyes to close? Makes perfect sense.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Martinis and Motherhood
It's happy hour... which means I've fixed Lauren's supper and she is sitting here at the bar eating while I commence preparing my evening cocktail...a lovely martini... Here's the conversation:
L: (singing) I love you a bull and a pet...
M: What are you singing...ohhhh..."I love you a bushel and a peck..."
L: Yeah!! Nonni taught me that song.
M: That's right, she sure did. (and I sing the song to her)
L: Mom? What's a bushel and a peck?
M: (silence..lots of blinking... nervous giggling...) it means...like...a whole lot...Nonni loves you a LOT! (hoping she'll move on...and she does)
L: Mom (as she watches me getting items ready for my martini) what's that?
M: It's a martini.
L: What are you putting in there?
M: Vodka. Vermouth. Ice.
L: That's a drink like Josh.
M: It's a drink Josh likes, yes...
L: Does Mike drink martinis?
M: No. He doesn't.
L: What does Mike drink?
M: (thinking...this is all I need is for her to go to school saying Uncle Mike drinks vodka and orange juice so I say...) I don't know
L: He drinks beer. Mike drinks beer.
M: That's right. He does drink beer at the beach, you're right...
L: What does Nonni drink?
M: Nonni drinks wine.
L: You like wine doncha Mama?
M: (snickering) Yes, Lauren, I do like wine...
L: Who else drinks martinis?
M: I don't know, who?
L: Josh. Josh drinks martinis. I drink milk.
M: That's right.
L: Poppo. Poppo drinks martinis...
M: Well, he USED to drink martinis...
L: What does Papa drink?
M: Papa? COKE. Just COKE.
I'm so going to hell...or at least getting an interesting note from her teacher at school when she explains that a martini is vodka, vermouth and ice.
L: (singing) I love you a bull and a pet...
M: What are you singing...ohhhh..."I love you a bushel and a peck..."
L: Yeah!! Nonni taught me that song.
M: That's right, she sure did. (and I sing the song to her)
L: Mom? What's a bushel and a peck?
M: (silence..lots of blinking... nervous giggling...) it means...like...a whole lot...Nonni loves you a LOT! (hoping she'll move on...and she does)
L: Mom (as she watches me getting items ready for my martini) what's that?
M: It's a martini.
L: What are you putting in there?
M: Vodka. Vermouth. Ice.
L: That's a drink like Josh.
M: It's a drink Josh likes, yes...
L: Does Mike drink martinis?
M: No. He doesn't.
L: What does Mike drink?
M: (thinking...this is all I need is for her to go to school saying Uncle Mike drinks vodka and orange juice so I say...) I don't know
L: He drinks beer. Mike drinks beer.
M: That's right. He does drink beer at the beach, you're right...
L: What does Nonni drink?
M: Nonni drinks wine.
L: You like wine doncha Mama?
M: (snickering) Yes, Lauren, I do like wine...
L: Who else drinks martinis?
M: I don't know, who?
L: Josh. Josh drinks martinis. I drink milk.
M: That's right.
L: Poppo. Poppo drinks martinis...
M: Well, he USED to drink martinis...
L: What does Papa drink?
M: Papa? COKE. Just COKE.
I'm so going to hell...or at least getting an interesting note from her teacher at school when she explains that a martini is vodka, vermouth and ice.
Monday, August 11, 2008
A conversation about supper
M: Lauren, your supper is ready. Would you like an apple?
L: Yes! Uh apple!
M: OK, would you like corn or green beans?
L: (confused. thinking...) uh apple!
M: Yes, I know, you'll get an apple, but do you want corn or green beans?
L: (more thinking) uh apple!
M: Yes Lauren. The apple is your fruit. You need to pick a vegetable. Corn or green beans?
L: uh apple!
M: (frustrated but laughing) OK, Lauren. Pick a VEGETABLE. Corn or green beans?
L: uh...corn!
M: Corn! Great!
L: (laughing and talking to herself) I picked a BEJ-TUH-BULL...
Yes Lauren, you sure did...
L: Yes! Uh apple!
M: OK, would you like corn or green beans?
L: (confused. thinking...) uh apple!
M: Yes, I know, you'll get an apple, but do you want corn or green beans?
L: (more thinking) uh apple!
M: Yes Lauren. The apple is your fruit. You need to pick a vegetable. Corn or green beans?
L: uh apple!
M: (frustrated but laughing) OK, Lauren. Pick a VEGETABLE. Corn or green beans?
L: uh...corn!
M: Corn! Great!
L: (laughing and talking to herself) I picked a BEJ-TUH-BULL...
Yes Lauren, you sure did...
A Weekend with The Nonni
Brodie and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary on Friday. In honor of this special occasion, we went to Charleston (where we honeymooned!) for a long weekend - away from Lauren! The Nonni (my mom) came to stay with Lauren and agreed to be a "guest blogger" (as requested by WG2)...
The following are notes taken by the Nonni this past weekend...
L: Nonni, will you play with me?
N: Oh yes! We'll play and sing silly songs and read books and have lots of fun!
L: (turning to Mama) Mom, are you going some place?
M: Yes, Daddy and I are going on a trip.
L: Mom, can you go away now?
We were sitting on the floor playing with her Fisher-Price Little People school bus and Noah's Ark figures. I asked if she knew the song, "If You're Happy and You Know It." She nodded. I sang three verses and she pantomined along. When I began a 4th verse, she said with finality, "That's enough."
She wanted me to read an "I Spy" book to her. Knowing that she had memorized every word already, I suggest that she read it to me instead. She said, "No you tell me what the words are!" One of the pages showed a picture of a flip-flop. I asked her if she knew what it was called. She said, "A thlip-thlop." Close enough...
She brought her lovie "Ducky" into the living room and asked me, "Who...who...who is Ducky's Nonni?" I said I didn't know. She said, "I'll pick out Ducky's Nonni, " went into her room and came back with Ella Bunny and announced that she was Ducky's Nonni. She set both of them on the floor behind the loveseat. The she wanted to know who was Ducky's mother. Snowball (the white bunny) was assigned that role. Next came Henry (the bear) as Ducky's father, followed by Baby (the Prayer Bear), Kitty, a large fleece sheep whose name on the spur of the moment became "Chelly-La...no, Chelly-LA-la," another small sheep, and Olive the turtle. When all were placed in a row, they were pronounced to be "her family and her CHIDREN."
When I told her it was dinnertime, she said, "I'm not hungry." I waited awhile and then asked her if she'd like to help me prepare some snacks for an "Hors D'Oeuvres Party." She was only too eager to assist. An inventory of the fridge produced the following: string cheese, cream cheese (for a spread), turkey cold cuts, and pickled okra. To this was added one fresh cherry tomato because "I like TOE-MAY-TOES," she said several times. We spread the cream cheese on fresh-baked bread, then cut it into tiny triangles and set them on a tray. (The silver serving tray had not come back from the jeweler's, so we substituted a toaster oven tray.) We rolled several slices of cold cuts tightly then sliced them into Princess-size pinwheels. Next we sliced several okra pods into coins, as well as the string cheese. The quartered tomato was added as the touch of color, and all was ready for the party.
Princess Lauren, attired appropriately in her regal pink princess dress, fucshia underskirt, jewelled necklace, ballet slippers (Dora bedroom slippers), and princess be-ribboned hat invited everyone to join her in the castle for the party. Nonni was assigned the role of king, whose name was decreed to be "Mr. King." When questioned by the Princess about the absence of balloons and "ribbons" (crepe-paper streamers?) and presents, the "king" replied that those items were appropriate for birthday parties, but not for hors d'ouevres parties. Some discussion followed about the nature of parties where the principal function is just getting together with friends to laugh and talk and eat and drink.
The Princess devoured all items on the hors d'oeuvres tray and requested more pickles! The king promptly fetched them.
The Princess used her magic wand to cast a spell on the Royal Yorkie (Ellie) and turn her into a ship to take the Princess over the ocean, but since Yorkies are notoriously spell-resistant, the spell-casting failed and we were left with -----sigh-----a Yorkie.
The following are notes taken by the Nonni this past weekend...
L: Nonni, will you play with me?
N: Oh yes! We'll play and sing silly songs and read books and have lots of fun!
L: (turning to Mama) Mom, are you going some place?
M: Yes, Daddy and I are going on a trip.
L: Mom, can you go away now?
We were sitting on the floor playing with her Fisher-Price Little People school bus and Noah's Ark figures. I asked if she knew the song, "If You're Happy and You Know It." She nodded. I sang three verses and she pantomined along. When I began a 4th verse, she said with finality, "That's enough."
She wanted me to read an "I Spy" book to her. Knowing that she had memorized every word already, I suggest that she read it to me instead. She said, "No you tell me what the words are!" One of the pages showed a picture of a flip-flop. I asked her if she knew what it was called. She said, "A thlip-thlop." Close enough...
She brought her lovie "Ducky" into the living room and asked me, "Who...who...who is Ducky's Nonni?" I said I didn't know. She said, "I'll pick out Ducky's Nonni, " went into her room and came back with Ella Bunny and announced that she was Ducky's Nonni. She set both of them on the floor behind the loveseat. The she wanted to know who was Ducky's mother. Snowball (the white bunny) was assigned that role. Next came Henry (the bear) as Ducky's father, followed by Baby (the Prayer Bear), Kitty, a large fleece sheep whose name on the spur of the moment became "Chelly-La...no, Chelly-LA-la," another small sheep, and Olive the turtle. When all were placed in a row, they were pronounced to be "her family and her CHIDREN."
When I told her it was dinnertime, she said, "I'm not hungry." I waited awhile and then asked her if she'd like to help me prepare some snacks for an "Hors D'Oeuvres Party." She was only too eager to assist. An inventory of the fridge produced the following: string cheese, cream cheese (for a spread), turkey cold cuts, and pickled okra. To this was added one fresh cherry tomato because "I like TOE-MAY-TOES," she said several times. We spread the cream cheese on fresh-baked bread, then cut it into tiny triangles and set them on a tray. (The silver serving tray had not come back from the jeweler's, so we substituted a toaster oven tray.) We rolled several slices of cold cuts tightly then sliced them into Princess-size pinwheels. Next we sliced several okra pods into coins, as well as the string cheese. The quartered tomato was added as the touch of color, and all was ready for the party.
Princess Lauren, attired appropriately in her regal pink princess dress, fucshia underskirt, jewelled necklace, ballet slippers (Dora bedroom slippers), and princess be-ribboned hat invited everyone to join her in the castle for the party. Nonni was assigned the role of king, whose name was decreed to be "Mr. King." When questioned by the Princess about the absence of balloons and "ribbons" (crepe-paper streamers?) and presents, the "king" replied that those items were appropriate for birthday parties, but not for hors d'ouevres parties. Some discussion followed about the nature of parties where the principal function is just getting together with friends to laugh and talk and eat and drink.
The Princess devoured all items on the hors d'oeuvres tray and requested more pickles! The king promptly fetched them.
The Princess used her magic wand to cast a spell on the Royal Yorkie (Ellie) and turn her into a ship to take the Princess over the ocean, but since Yorkies are notoriously spell-resistant, the spell-casting failed and we were left with -----sigh-----a Yorkie.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Another lesson from Lauren
When I started this blog I wasn't entirely sure what direction it would take me. The last two posts have contained conversations between myself and my child. I always think of that stupid tv show that was on several years ago "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Bill Cosby as the host. As of this morning I've realized that the purpose of this blog will be to share the conversations I have with my child on a daily basis because kids certainly do say the darndest things...
This moring I saw a hummingbird perched on my hanging flower basket just resting. I picked Lauren up and pointed it out. We talked about how tiny and cute he was. And then...
L: Do they eat flowers?
M: Well, no, not really, they like to get the nectar out of the flowers...kind of like bees do...see that feeder hanging there? That has nectar in it that Mama puts out for the hummingbirds, but they also like to drink it from the flowers.
L: (thinking) What do foxes eat?
M: Ummm...(wondering how the conversation switched gears so quickly and trying to catch up) I'm not sure...uh...maybe...chicken?
L: (thinking) Cheetos?
M: (thinking she said cheetahs) Cheetahs? What do cheetahs eat?
L: No. Cheetos.
M: Cheetos? Foxes eat cheetos?
L: Yes.
M: Oh...ok...
L: And elephants eat blueberries.
M: Elephants eat blueberries?
L: Horses. Horses eat grass.
M: Yes they do.
L: You know what eats leaves? (and mimics holding leaves and chewing them)
M: What eats leaves?
L: Um...um...CATERPILLARS!!!! (very proud of herself)
M: That's right!
L: What does the sun eat?
M: The sun? Uh...I don't know...
L: I think roses. Like Dorothy the Dinosaur.
This moring I saw a hummingbird perched on my hanging flower basket just resting. I picked Lauren up and pointed it out. We talked about how tiny and cute he was. And then...
L: Do they eat flowers?
M: Well, no, not really, they like to get the nectar out of the flowers...kind of like bees do...see that feeder hanging there? That has nectar in it that Mama puts out for the hummingbirds, but they also like to drink it from the flowers.
L: (thinking) What do foxes eat?
M: Ummm...(wondering how the conversation switched gears so quickly and trying to catch up) I'm not sure...uh...maybe...chicken?
L: (thinking) Cheetos?
M: (thinking she said cheetahs) Cheetahs? What do cheetahs eat?
L: No. Cheetos.
M: Cheetos? Foxes eat cheetos?
L: Yes.
M: Oh...ok...
L: And elephants eat blueberries.
M: Elephants eat blueberries?
L: Horses. Horses eat grass.
M: Yes they do.
L: You know what eats leaves? (and mimics holding leaves and chewing them)
M: What eats leaves?
L: Um...um...CATERPILLARS!!!! (very proud of herself)
M: That's right!
L: What does the sun eat?
M: The sun? Uh...I don't know...
L: I think roses. Like Dorothy the Dinosaur.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Our resident artist
My child loves art. She loves being messy. She loves to paint and draw.
About a month ago Chad and I invested in a bunch of art supplies and organizational drawers and bins to store it all in. My thought was that if the stuff is in a place she can get to it, she can tap into her creative side anytime she wants.
So the artist has been hard at work for several weeks now. In addition to paint, markers, crayons, colored pencils and paper, we got her some pom-pons of varying sizes, buttons, feathers and googly eyes! She's fascinated with the idea of gluing stuff down and has done some pretty interesting (abstract?) pieces using the buttons and pom-pons!
This afternoon she decided she wanted to paint (watercolors) some animals. She asked for help from me. I asked her what animal she wanted to paint...
L: An elephant.
M: OK, does an elephant have a big body or a little body?
L: big body
M: OK, let's paint a big body... (painting by Mama)
L: elephants are brown (as I'm painting the body blue)
M: They are?
L: Yeah, at the zoo. 'Member? And they eat. And they need to drink water. 'Member?
M: Right. OK, let's paint the head (using brown paint now)...does an elephant have big ears or little ears?
L: big ears
M: OK, let's paint the ears...(more brown) What about an elephant's face? What does it have on it's face?
L: (pointing to her nose and scrunching it up) a nose!
M: a trunk?
L: yeah! a trunk!
M: Can you paint the trunk? (hand over paintbrush)
L: Sure! (paints trunk beside the ear) Where's its other ear?
M: I don't know...where is its other ear? Can you paint it?
L: Sure! (paints ear on side of head) it needs eyes...
M: OK...paint some eyes! (she paints an eye)
L: where's its other eye?
M: I don't know, where is its other eye?
L: (FLIPS PAPER OVER) Here it is! (and paints an eye on the back side of the paper) It's on the other side!
Of course, why didn't I think of that?
About a month ago Chad and I invested in a bunch of art supplies and organizational drawers and bins to store it all in. My thought was that if the stuff is in a place she can get to it, she can tap into her creative side anytime she wants.
So the artist has been hard at work for several weeks now. In addition to paint, markers, crayons, colored pencils and paper, we got her some pom-pons of varying sizes, buttons, feathers and googly eyes! She's fascinated with the idea of gluing stuff down and has done some pretty interesting (abstract?) pieces using the buttons and pom-pons!
This afternoon she decided she wanted to paint (watercolors) some animals. She asked for help from me. I asked her what animal she wanted to paint...
L: An elephant.
M: OK, does an elephant have a big body or a little body?
L: big body
M: OK, let's paint a big body... (painting by Mama)
L: elephants are brown (as I'm painting the body blue)
M: They are?
L: Yeah, at the zoo. 'Member? And they eat. And they need to drink water. 'Member?
M: Right. OK, let's paint the head (using brown paint now)...does an elephant have big ears or little ears?
L: big ears
M: OK, let's paint the ears...(more brown) What about an elephant's face? What does it have on it's face?
L: (pointing to her nose and scrunching it up) a nose!
M: a trunk?
L: yeah! a trunk!
M: Can you paint the trunk? (hand over paintbrush)
L: Sure! (paints trunk beside the ear) Where's its other ear?
M: I don't know...where is its other ear? Can you paint it?
L: Sure! (paints ear on side of head) it needs eyes...
M: OK...paint some eyes! (she paints an eye)
L: where's its other eye?
M: I don't know, where is its other eye?
L: (FLIPS PAPER OVER) Here it is! (and paints an eye on the back side of the paper) It's on the other side!
Of course, why didn't I think of that?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Toddler Logic...
So I had my first post yesterday... I was pleased but honestly thought to myself, "You just aren't going to have good 'material' everyday, so don't stress yourself about daily blogging.." but of course in the back of my mind I'm thinking of things.
A little while ago Lauren brought some books to me to read. I try to practice something one of my friends said to me one time, "Never say no when your child brings you a book..." It's frustrating sometimes because it will be the most inconvenient times, but then I stop and think, "Lauren wants to read a book...but you want to type an email...there's really not much to ponder is there?" So I stop what I'm doing, snuggle up with my child, and read. Of course the initial reading is just a trick...it'll be 1-2 books, but then she's got you..."OK, you stay right here...don't move...I'll be RIGHT BACK..." and she scurries off to find about 12 more books to plop in my lap...and it goes on like this until I've read about 25 books and say, "THIS is the last one..." So that's what happened this afternoon. I finished the "last one" and moved on to something else. Lauren was being pitiful and somewhat needy so I picked her up and let her sit in my lap while I was on the computer. She just wanted to snuggle (lingering runny nose is the culprit I think) so I picked her up and carry her over to the couch. The TV is off, but the iPod is on playing some cozy music and we're snuggled up on the couch relaxing. I can HEAR her breathing change and can tell she's zoning. I whisper, "You wanna go rockabye a bit?" (meaning snuggle up in her chair in her room - what we do before nap time) She nods and then stops herself and says, "BUT IT'S NOT NAPTIME..." I said, "No, but it might be nice to rest a little..." We get up and walk in her room and I commence "ROOM SHUT DOWN" mode where I turn on the fan, close the blinds and shut the room darkening shades. Lauren says, "Mom, you don't have to make it dark...IT'S NOT NAPTIME" in a confident voice. I say, "It'd be ok if it was dark doncha think?" We get all cozied up in the chair and I swear the child was OUT in 30 seconds. She's snoring and completely limp. I rock a little longer and then attempt to stand up to put her in the bed...
Eyes POP open and out comes, "IT'S NOT NAPTIME." Right, what was I thinking? You were snoring and sound asleep, but of course! Not naptime.
We go back to the chair and rock and I SWEAR she immediately goes back to sleep. I am having flashbacks to her infancy where I would sit there rocking a sleeping baby and think, "How the crap am I going to get this child OUT of my arms and INTO the bed without her knowing?" I slow down my rocking and slooooooooooooooooowly stand up...
Eyes POP open and stare at me..."IT'S NOT NAPTIME."
I begin my attempts at tricking her with language.
M: No, it's not naptime...it's rest time...
L: No, it's NOT rest time.
M: It's sleepy time...? (maybe the inflection in my voice was showing my lack of confidence in this method of trickery)
L: No, it's NOT sleepy time. (and her chin starts to quiver and she's going to cry)
M: (attempting comic relief) It's SNORING time! (and I make obnoxious/silly snoring sounds)
L: (full out crying) Noooooo it's NOT! Mama, can I watch TV for a little bit?
M: ...and THEN you'll take a nap?
L: yes.
Wait a minute...what just happened here? I think I was just tricked by a toddler.
A little while ago Lauren brought some books to me to read. I try to practice something one of my friends said to me one time, "Never say no when your child brings you a book..." It's frustrating sometimes because it will be the most inconvenient times, but then I stop and think, "Lauren wants to read a book...but you want to type an email...there's really not much to ponder is there?" So I stop what I'm doing, snuggle up with my child, and read. Of course the initial reading is just a trick...it'll be 1-2 books, but then she's got you..."OK, you stay right here...don't move...I'll be RIGHT BACK..." and she scurries off to find about 12 more books to plop in my lap...and it goes on like this until I've read about 25 books and say, "THIS is the last one..." So that's what happened this afternoon. I finished the "last one" and moved on to something else. Lauren was being pitiful and somewhat needy so I picked her up and let her sit in my lap while I was on the computer. She just wanted to snuggle (lingering runny nose is the culprit I think) so I picked her up and carry her over to the couch. The TV is off, but the iPod is on playing some cozy music and we're snuggled up on the couch relaxing. I can HEAR her breathing change and can tell she's zoning. I whisper, "You wanna go rockabye a bit?" (meaning snuggle up in her chair in her room - what we do before nap time) She nods and then stops herself and says, "BUT IT'S NOT NAPTIME..." I said, "No, but it might be nice to rest a little..." We get up and walk in her room and I commence "ROOM SHUT DOWN" mode where I turn on the fan, close the blinds and shut the room darkening shades. Lauren says, "Mom, you don't have to make it dark...IT'S NOT NAPTIME" in a confident voice. I say, "It'd be ok if it was dark doncha think?" We get all cozied up in the chair and I swear the child was OUT in 30 seconds. She's snoring and completely limp. I rock a little longer and then attempt to stand up to put her in the bed...
Eyes POP open and out comes, "IT'S NOT NAPTIME." Right, what was I thinking? You were snoring and sound asleep, but of course! Not naptime.
We go back to the chair and rock and I SWEAR she immediately goes back to sleep. I am having flashbacks to her infancy where I would sit there rocking a sleeping baby and think, "How the crap am I going to get this child OUT of my arms and INTO the bed without her knowing?" I slow down my rocking and slooooooooooooooooowly stand up...
Eyes POP open and stare at me..."IT'S NOT NAPTIME."
I begin my attempts at tricking her with language.
M: No, it's not naptime...it's rest time...
L: No, it's NOT rest time.
M: It's sleepy time...? (maybe the inflection in my voice was showing my lack of confidence in this method of trickery)
L: No, it's NOT sleepy time. (and her chin starts to quiver and she's going to cry)
M: (attempting comic relief) It's SNORING time! (and I make obnoxious/silly snoring sounds)
L: (full out crying) Noooooo it's NOT! Mama, can I watch TV for a little bit?
M: ...and THEN you'll take a nap?
L: yes.
Wait a minute...what just happened here? I think I was just tricked by a toddler.
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